The Three 6 Mafia Project

Since it will be a while until I get a steady flow of stuff to review, I've decided to start a silly little project that will amuse myself and maybe three other people.

In 2006, Three 6 Mafia has not only managed to win an Oscar and sell some beats to Paris Hilton, but they also played some little girls birthday party on MTV's My Super Sweet 16 show. Needless to say, I doubt they will be this overexposed ever again. A lot of people probably don't realize that Three 6 has a very extensive back catalog. This is where I come in.

For my own personal amusement, I'm going to make an attempt to review every (relevant) Three 6 Mafia record track by track. I'll provide a synopsis and individually score each track, along with an overall score for the whole damn album. yes, this is the type of nerd shit you will only find in some dude's blog. That's why you look at blogs though. It's definitely not for the porn. Ultimately, I'd hope this would help out a new yet clueless Three 6 Mafia fan to choose which CD they should purchase (I mean, download) next, but that probably won't happen.

Each track will be rated 1 to 5. 5 Being the best. In case you're numerically challenged, I'll break down the ratings for you.

1 - Total garbage. A song you will never want to listen to. It may even be bad to the point where you want to jab at your eardrums with something sharp and possibly urine soaked.

2 - Something you may listen to the first time over then regularly skip from there on out.

3 - A perfectly decent song, but nothing you're going to want to write a thesis on.

4 - A wonderful song that you'll put on mixtapes (or mix Ipod playlists) and tell your friends about until they're sick of hearing you talk about it.

5 - A timeless classic. Something that will be played at funerals and outer space block parties 30 years from now.

After the track ratings, I'm going to do a Total Package rating based on the same number scale. The Total Package rating is for overall qualilty of everything involved in the album. The skits, the sound quality, the sequencing, whatever. Then I'll average all that stuff out and put up the overall score. If you don't know anything about averages, doing something on a 1-5 scale means anything above a 3.5 overall score is basically essential listening.

Now a brief backstory about my life with the Three 6 Mafia:

I originally heard Three 6 in 1997. I was big into "horrorcore" at the time, and they definitely had a horrorcore name. My friend had the "World Domination" tape and I was initially not that impressed. Then I heard the Tear Da Club Up Thugs tape and I got a little more into them. A few years later "When The Smoke Clears" came out and I was totally in love.
Since then, I've been down with everything they've done. Even the old shit I wasn't too hot on to begin with. Since 'WTSC' was the first Three 6 record I liked start to finish, I've decided to start with that one. Here goes nothin'

When The Smoke Clears: Sixty 6 Sixty 1 (2000) (Loud Records)

1. Intro -
Some evil sounding bible reading. N/A

2. 44 Killers -
Just long enough to be considered a song. Every MC is on point on this one. Not to mention pretty angry about anonymous 'haters'. Chorus: "I'm 'bout ta blow da boys ass off". 4

3. Sippin' On Some Syrup (Feat. UGK & Project Pat) -
If you're reading this, you're probably well acquainted with this song. The first song about cough syrup drinking to really do damage in the mainstream. Also Three 6's first bonafide classic (Well, as far as I'm concerned.). 5

4. Weak Azz Bitch (Feat. La Chat & Project Pat) -
A nice little call and response song. They say 'Weak Ass', you say 'Bitch'. It's pretty simple once you get the hang of it. Angry rapping backed by a standard hard ass Three 6 beat. 4

5. Jus Like Us -
More anger. This one's about jealous dudes, or "Jello Ass Niggaz" according to DJ Paul. One of the great things about Three 6 is that when they fuck with synth sounds, they either sound like they could fit perfectly in the movie 'Colors' or 'Deathrace 2000'. This is one that's on the 'Colors' end of the spectrum. 4

6. I'm So Hi -
If you couldnt guess, this is another ode to drugs. They go all out on the drug songs though. The track is stupendously backed by the "hoooooo" chants from Beastie Boys' "Posse In Effect" and what sounds like a Portishead (!) sample. Chorus: 'I'm so high, all I smell like is smoke'. 5

7. Mafia Niggaz -
Pretty standard Three 6 song with a horror soul piano loop and a repeating 'Yeah Hoe!' chant. It's a great song, but nothing essential. 3

8. Hook Up with Hoes - skit. N/A

9. From Da Back -
You dealin' with some thugs who like to hit it from the back, wit no kinda strings attatched. I'm sure strippers enjoyed dancing to this in 2000. As much as I love Three 6, I really hate having to visiaulize them having sex. Except Gangsta Boo. 3

10. Fuck Y'all Hoes - It's pretty obvious Three 6 grew up on a healthy diet of wrestling. Not with each other, I mean pro wrestling WWF shit. They have a lot of menacing songs that just sound like a bunch of people fighting with crazy gang vocals thrown in for good measure. These are usually even angrier than their standard angry songs. 4

11. Where Da Cheese At -
When I was very young, there was this Little Ceasers commercial that left a pretty lasting impression on me. It had to do with a can of cheese bouncing all over a table and a black man saying "It's Cheeeeeeeeeeese!" in a very stereotypical voice. Unfortunately, this song has nothing to do with that. It's a Crunchy Black solo song, which is usually a bad thing, but the beat is scary enough to carry it beyond the point of being a decent song to an awesome song. 4

12. Tongue Ring -
Another stripper song. I think tongue rings were a little more in vogue in 2000. Thins was the follow up single to 'Syrup', but I could never get that into it. Probably because I'm not a stripper. Props to Gangsta Boo for her verse about hiding a razorblade in her mouth and slicing a dude's dick though. 3

13. Barrin' You Bitches -
This one involves getting fucked up AND fighting. Another good horror soul key sample and a sweet sputtering snare. Oh, and Lord Infamous rapping angrily at 4000 mph. 3

14. Whatcha Know (Feat. Big Gipp of Goodie Mob) -
It's kind of weird to think that Three 6 and Gnarls Barkley are only one degree separated. Actually, Three 6 has a lot of questionable cohorts, but Gnarls Barkley? Fuck. 3

15. Act Like You Know Me -
Three 6 would really appreciate it if you could point out any cowards. The little organ loop (I don't even know if that's supposed to be an organ) is pretty hypMOtizing. 3

16. Take A Bump -
I know it's normal to hear rappers talk about selling coke these days, but it was very rare six years ago to hear someone very openly talking about snorting coke in a song. This gets high marks for trailblazing. 4

17. Touched Wit It (Feat. Mr. Serv-On, Fiend & La Chat) -
In the early 00's, Three 6 made sure to work with every single southern rap clique in existence. Actually, they still do that. At this point in time, No Limit was HUGE though, so this was more of a rub for Three 6, even if it was just Mr. Serv-On from the No Limit B team. 3

18. M.E.M.P.H.I.S. (Feat. Hypnotize Camp Posse) -
The obligatory HCP cut. There's one (sometimes more) on just about every HCP related release. They're all solid, and they all usually revolve around the same 'mafia' vocal sample chant being chopped and fucked with. For some reason I feel this one is one of the better ones, if not the best. Probably because it includes Project Pat and Lord Infamous and it was before Lil Wyte was down with HCP. 4

19. Just Another Crazy Click (Feat. ICP & Twizted) -
Here's one of those songs with questionable cohorts involved. It's not as bad as it looks on paper. Honestly, Twizted don't really suck at rapping, they just choose to rap about dumb shit. The beat keeps this one from being a train wreck. Another horror soul piano keyboard loop and some ghost howls from a halloween sounds record. 3

20. Who Run It -
In case you couldn't guess, Three 6 Mafia run it. A brag track with a really epic sounding horn sample and some snappy hi-hats. There's nothing really special to report about the track, but that's why Three 6 is great. They could take a pile of shit and make a tasty shit sandwich out of it if they had to. 4

21. Put Ya Signs -
Another song seemingly inspired by pro wrestling. This one actually contains a 'fight' chant and another synth that sounds like it could have been in Nighthawks or Cobra. The 808 bounce clinches it. They were most definitely channeling Sylvester Stallone's greatest action roles when coming up with this track. 4

22. What's Next (outro) -
Obligatory plugging of CD's that probably still haven't come out yet. N/A

Total Package -
Although, they'd later prove to have more hits per album, this record quietly went platinum and contained Three 6's most consistent lineup. This is listenable from top to bottom without any skipping. It's a good srarting point if you're not too worried about mainstream hits. 5

Overall Rating: 3.8

I hate to ask for things like 'feedback'. but i'd appreciate 'feedback' before going on with the other 40 albums in the HCP collection. Thanks.