a poll about shit we forgot

It's to the right there somewhere, a poll I put up because I was looking at our labels list and half the shit is for things we never finished. So I wanted you, random internet fuckface looking at dumpin.net, to let us know how you felt about bullshit. Obviously I expect the EWA 100 thing to get the most love, because we should've finished that forever ago, although you dudes are gonna be pissed when you find out N2Deep's "Back to the Hotel" is in the top ten. I liked the jambox thing, but it was too hard to keep doing regularly. I think I'd rather people have songs to download and they battled than just steal shit all day off the internet. It makes me feel more like a dude who loves music and less like a douche who wants to hoard every piece of hip hop-related music ever made onto my collection of external hard drives I'll never get around to enjoying. The mixtape challenge was great, but we lost interest, although I think Mike and John are supposedly gonna finish it at some point, hopefully before next fall. Personally, I thought the myspace rapper battles by state was some brilliant next level internet time-wasting to be had, but the lack of enthusiasm for the polls leaned against that judgement by the public at-large. So fuck y'all. I was really looking forward to the Iowa/Wyoming/Colorado/Kansas battle. That shit would've been all sorts of funny. Really, the NBA bullshit was dead before it started because the only real hardcore NBA fan is John and he doesn't get a hard dick for making stupid posts like me and Mike do. And once Gilbert Arenas got injured and started seeming more like a fucking punk bitch like every kid in high school than some misunderstood genius like a sober O.D.B., I stopped caring about the NBA again... perhaps forever. The Three 6 Mafia Project probably predates just about anything most of you have seen, as Mike was doing that before any of the rest of us got here, but he never finished it. I wish he would. And then I wish he'd do an ICP project just like it. And I'm being completely serious too.
So post your stupid comments about what you think. If you want. And you can vote for as many as you want in the poll thing.

EWA Jambox

Devin the Dude wins again. In the Jambox's short internet history, this is the greatest song ever. Or my challenger choices suck. Well, Mike Dikk finally came through with a pair of contenders this time to try and knock off "What a Job" (on a five poll winning streak I think), and theme to the challengers is fresh shit from rap nerd favorites (or should-be rap nerd favorites in one case). Here's the rundown...
THE RETURNING CHAMPION - Devin the Dude's "What a Job" featuring Snoop Dogg & Andre 3000 - off the Waitin to Inhale CD, but you knew that by now.
CHALLENGER #1 - EMC's "What It Stand For" - first song leaked by the new indie rap super-group of Masta Ace, Punchline, Wordsworth, and Stricklin. I have yet to actually listen to it, but will do so shortly after making this post. I like Wordsworth, and love Masta Ace, but hate Punchline, so I feel like that Mr. Show skit about cock rings.
CHALLENGER #2 - The Freestyle Professors "Hear What I Hear" - Mike made me listen to this CD, except not hard enough because I forgot to listen to any of it before the link went dead, only left with this song. I like it, and makes me wish I had stole the rest of their Vintage EP while it was freshly stole for my convenience.

EWA Jambox

So Devin the Dude's feature song of his lackluster Waitin' to Inhale CD wins again for the third time in a row. I thought Kanye might give him a run for the money, being mad dorks are into Kanye as the new whatever the fuck is supposed to be good, but luckily he lost. This time, the theme to the challengers is some down south ignorant shit, since everybody hates ignorant shit and also hates the south. I am ignorant as fuck and from the south, at least the northern end of it, so I figured I might as well bring the stupid. Oh yeah, not just southern shit but dudes with weird voices. This thing is an Expert Whiteboyz/Dumpin cross-project, so check out both sides of that relationship wherever you start from. Also, please feel free to suggest semi-recent songs to be included in this thing. Mike's supposed to be helping me with this but he don't do shit for it really, which means this is probably about two weeks from being nothing but Fat Pat freestyles. So here's the rundown on this new jambox poll...
CHAMPION: Devin the Dude feat. Snoop Dogg & Andre 3000 - What A Job - You know the deal, as I've wroted about this one a few polls in a roll.
CHALLENGER #1: Lil Wayne - My Daddy - This is off Da Drought 3 mixtape, which has amazed me because it's been hyped up in a couple of fucking print magazines I've gotten recently as the greatest shit ever, even after the internet retardedly hyped it up whenever it was this came out. I do no understand this at all. This was a shitty mixtape, which a lot of mixtapes seem to be lately, and I guess this was a stand-out song amidst the shit, but I've seen this particular song quoted (I think there was some music critic nerd "stream of consciousness brilliance of Lil Wayne" talking point memorandum sent out about all those "Scott Storch can I borrow your yacht" part of the song. Whatever. It is a choice for you to decide if you think it is awesomer than the other songs.
CHALLENGER #2: Gorilla Zoe - Hood Nigga - Gorilla Zoe has a great voice and is one of the newest trap dealer rappin' fool flavors of the month. I don't mind him yet, but I'm sure that'll go away fast enough. Actually, that "Coffee Shop" song or whatever with him and Yung Joc or Young Dro or whoever the fuck sorta is already testing my patience, because of the inanity of that track. Nonetheless, this song, which is already a few months old and in "remix" cycle featuring trumped up guests, is a fun enough song if you're into ignant shit like I am. And let's be honest, one of the greatest thing about an open-minded society - truly open-minded - is breeding amongst the races, because that creates more beautiful bi-racial babies, and who amongst us does not love a yellowbone ho?

EWA Jambox 07/17/07

(Yeah, it's a day later than titled, but I put this up on the expert whiteboyz blog last night, forgetting that I'm supposed to put this stupid shit here too so we can get 11 votes instead of 7. Basically, this thing is a battle of the semi-current jams like very radio station in the history of forever has had, except we do it 3-way style with a pair of challengers each time. Winner moves on to the next poll - held roughly every five days (depending on my motivational feelings at the time) - and two new challengers, usually with some sort of theme to them, jump into the fray. So here is what was at expert whiteboyz last night.)

Devin the Dude's "What a Job" song shut out the competition, which is probably because both the Pharoahe Monch and Talib Kweli CDs suck. Today, moving from overhyped critic-friendly NYC rap, our new pair of challengers will be overhyped critic-friendly Chitown rap. Resurrection is still one of my all-time favorite tapes, but seriously, what the fuck is going on in Chicago? I think that down-low shit is not real at all, but something R. Kelly talked about and happens all over Chicago where dudes fuck each other thinking it's somehow still straight but everybody looks at them and is like, "Man, those dudes are homo." And there's nothing wrong with being homo, but if you are gonna be homo just be outright homo. Fuck all this closet bullshit. For what it's worth, Common is also my favorite hearsay gay rapper, as this chick I used to be tight with was tight with some dude who was a little whiteboy backpacker hip hop head who worked at the Marriott in Richmond, and Common stayed one night and ordered room service and dude delivered and Common was all propositioning him to come in the room and staring at the dude googly-eyed like "Know what I mean?" and being sorta pushy about it almost. I mean, if someone's your fan, they should want to have sex with you, right? That hearsay story always made me sad, not because Common might be bi or gay or whatever, but because even if he was, I would expect more from him than for him to just try to Kobe Bryant the dude delivering room service orders. Anyways, here's the rundown on the new jambox poll...
CHAMPION: Devin the Dude feat. Snoop Dogg & Andre 3000 - What A Job - two-time defending champion, and a sign of all the greatness Devin could kick, which hopefully won't trick you into buying his back catalog. If you do think about it though, get Just Tryin' Ta Live first, then Waitin' to Inhale. Skip the screwed shit, as it's about as shitty a screwed and chopped version you can get of a record.
CHALLENGER #1: Kanye West - Stronger - Off of Mr. Asshole Unbuttoned Shirt's upcoming already-overhyped CD. I have never understood Kanye love at all. Funny sped-up voice samples plus simplistic rhymes apparently is the greatest shit ever though. Maybe I'm just hating. Why'm I so mad?
CHALLENGER #2: Common - The People - From the couple of tracks I've heard off this new Common CD (did it come out today?), it's not as bad as some of his recent records, like he seems to be trying to sound hungry again, but still. It's pretty weak stuff, like going through the motions of hunger. I think the worst thing a rapper could ever do is think of himself as some sort of jazz musician instead of some sort of rock-n-roll fuckwad. If he wants to get all clever and linguistical, he should do it like an Eddie Van Halen guitar solo as opposed to being all Mingus with everything. Which is not to discredit Charlie Mingus or jazz music, so much as point out how fucking stupid jazzy rappers are.

EWA JAMBOX! - click this for the poll bullshit