2.26.2008

grumble grumble grumble: STUPID FANTASY BASEBALL

Last year we had a fantastical baseball thing and it was the first time I ever did it. It's hard for me to support regular baseball, being it's a long boring white ass game for people too stupid to understand golf, and even if I was completely hyped beyond control, I could barely watch two innings of a stupid baseball game. But nerds keep it going, and most sports editors are nerds, so newspapers pretend people still care even though they don't, when most people would rather see some mixed martial artist faggot coverage or soccer or mock drafts than even one fucking baseball story.
I didn't watch any baseball last year, at all, and still finished third in the thing because it's nerd shit and all you need to do is be an asshole about numbers. I shudder to think of people actually sitting around doing fantasy drafts with homemade jerseys of their fake teams. If you do that type of thing, whatever, to each his own. But you have no right to make fun of real dolls or furries or really anything. I would feel more comfortable pounding some brews with a dude talking about how real his real doll is than a guy talking my ear off about his fantasy team.
Anyways, we have a stupid fantasy league set up, but it's important you're not a fag about this type of thing. No fantasy fags are allowed, but last year Mike secretly had two teams, leading me to think he might be in the closet when it comes to baseball dorkery. But you, random internet homo, are welcome to join. I know you want to because you are the internet most likely reading about rap dork shit, so you are probably obsessive compulsive and feel that misunderstood genius thing in your real life, like people around you in real life don't understand the true awesomeness of indy rap or something, and that misunderstood genius Napoleonic complex of a psychological variety is a key demographic of the fantasy baseball fuckface. So point your semen-coated little optical mouse to the stupid yahoo fantasy sports webpage (you ought to be able to find that bullshit yourself) and click the join a league bullshit. Our league number is 121090 and the password is juicyone. Because I got one juicy dick for you fantasy baseball fags to use your mouth as a holster for.