2.27.2008

it's the hate of the month get up get up get up: THE DUMPIN BLOG OTHER FUCKERS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO WRITE THIS BULLSHIT

Frist off (I was gonna correct my spelling, but I'd like to think that former faggassee Senator Dr. Bill Frist was a straight up dude), I should preface my complaining about other contribudores to this site by saying if there was no you, random internet faceless statcounter number, there would be no us. We appreciate each and every unique one of you, especially when you have looked up something warped like pissing in your daughter's mouth or your wife Michelle getting fucked in the next room to get here. We hope that once you come, you'll take a look around, and stay. We don't really have anything to sell, so there's no profit motive, so I guess basically we're esteem-deficient losers who feel better about our hopeless futures when fuckfaces like you drum up our daily stats on the internets.
So now, let us talk of the lack of activity (aka lacktivity, not to be confused with titfeeding) going on around here. We had mentioned, or I did, that the EWA was probably dead, but then it wasn't because we changed the rules for how we do it, thanks to that dude John. Except nobody done it since we changed it. And I'm being a petty fag where I don't write shit if nobody else will because I think everybody's heard enough of my stupid shit for two lifetimes on the internets. John is awol, probably on some serious shit, so I do not fault him at all. But that BWT dude shows up in the EWA Clubhouse like once every two weeks to be like, "Yo the new Clipse mixtape is crazy bonkers, I'mma write shit on Thursday my day off," then nobody sees him for two more weeks. I am not sure what goes on with Keenon, and he has been with the EWA dorkrod posse forever, and I know he DJs in the real lifes, so I would give him a pass. Except I see him posting all over stupid ass fuckface message boards, and what the fuck is a blog except feeling so self-important about your stupid assed endless message board postings that you decide to accumulate them all in one place, with labels to make for meme-following easy action? I figure one hour wasted on a shitty message board should equal two stupid fucking blog posts.
Non-EWA dumpin posters have slacked too. I guess Jay Pud has his own blog, which I've forgotten to check at all since the first week, mostly because he made me start masturbating about Rachel Ray all the time. Before his blog, I thought I was a solitary freak, but he opened my eyes, so I have embraced my lust for that bitch. You know they had some new chick on Saturday Night Lifes last week, and she did a Rachel Ray character briefly, tits all about to pop out her top, maniacal grin. I like that Rachel Ray's stereotype is for her tits to be about to pop out. I bet she likes that too, old ass mid-life crisis pudge belly slut. (If you are crazy ego-driven and google yourself, my bad Rach, I'm just saying that shit for our shitty fuckers who read this shit, trying to seem like I'm all hard. I'm a nice guy and my dick's not the biggest, but it looks good in Polaroids and I am a great cunninglinguster, although to be honest, while doing that I'll probably lift your legs up and flick your ass too to gauge your reaction, then lick that, but not because I like tasting ass but because I am deprecating myself to lay the groundwork for stuffing my penis into your ass. I like that for some reason with strange women; I think there's animalistic dominance issues going on, which would make sense with some of the other issues I have going on. But hit me up if you read this and you're ever in Virginia - tongueplusdickplusfingerequals16inches@gmail.com.)
I do not know what happened to Diora. I never would have expected porn-related things to be boring, but asking that one slut questions, but nothing porn-related, that was a weird ass thing. I should mention I do not trust porn because I think it's a giant conspiracy by reverse jews to make us all gay, because it's always dudes standing around together training some chick with no respect for her, and the only love they show is to each other. I read somewhere recently about there being feminist porn coming out now, but usually feminist porn goes by the definition of feminism that goes roughly, "Oh yeah? You wanna fuck with us? Well check this out..." where they fuck with we. Why can't there be some sweet nice mutually pleasurable porn that a family can sit down together at Sunday dinner and watch? I have three daughters and the fact that they will in all likelihood date someone who knows the term "Dirty Sanchez" makes me want to scrape the outer layer of the earth off with homemade cluster bombs. Apparently Mike also added some dude to the dumpin blog who is a black dude friend of Diora's who reviews porn tapes, but unless he's like Chris Nieratko from the hood, then fuck that shit. Although I reserve the right to enjoy whatever he does and act like I was down from the get-go.
I had, like three days ago, realized my inner-gangsta while watching Get Rich or Die Trying, and I had planned on making mention how when you see DUMPIN.NET, in your mind I know you are thinking out "dumpin dot net" but I wanted you to understand it was "dumpin bullethole net" because that's how hard shit is around here. But it's not hard. It's a bunch of pussy faggots who don't write shit in the robot internet land of pussy faggotry, so then stupid ass fuckface me comes along and goes, "I'll make a quick hate post" and then I talk forever about nothing in particular. So from now on, when your eyes cross that "DUMPIN.NET" and your mind makes the words play out for your brain to comprehend and shit, take a pause, and re-train yourself to say "dumpin pussyhole net" because that's what this place is. (Also, the idea of a pussyhole net is intriguing to me, like a net that only captured the valuable parts of women while letting the rest pass on by. I may have accidentally unearthed gold with that idea. I should start making some initial sketches.)