dumbass hate o' the day: HAVING TO HATE THINGS

It is hard to hate every day, even after one day (but rest assured I hate hate hate everything, especially things about you), and today (which is really yesterday) I was overwhelmed with feelings of enjoy. I had to go buy the shit to eat for my birthday, and I decided to make my wife cook a giant ham which I will glaze with brown sugars (if you know what I mean) when I get home from work, which I will do even though I'm self-employed, mostly because I didn't work the previous 19 days and still need money because the lottery didn't come through (again). I was counting on that shit to pay my credit card bill next week too. Fuck.
Anyways, while at the store, I was mesmerized by 37 flavors of female, which are always great because scientifically 99 out of every 100 females has a vagina (aka yoni), and vaginas (aka yonis) are fucking great. They are great to look at, to touch, to sniff and play with, and especially to prod with my fifth largest appendage (unless my head is an appendage too, but isn't that more like the mainframe of the whole operation? who the fuck knows)... vagin4s are just all-around great fun. I love them. I have actually become ridiculously attracted to chicks just because I imagine they had really cute vaginas. Seriously. LOL, I guess I have a vagina fetish.
I am getting older (turn 35 today, which is tomorrow), and my standards in women have not lowered so much as expanded. The age range has widened greatly, and in fact, I have felt it necessary to dial the lower end up a little bit (being 35 and thinking a 15-year-old is sexy is not a good life habit), and whereas I used to just love certain youthful sluts, I have learned to love the vagina-containing beauty of many different types of women. Being in the grocery store buying a giant ham, I was exposed to many executron womens, those of solid jobs with health benefits who have to buy things for their stupid private school kids and uncaring balding ponytail husband who ain't hitting that shit right. And while unknowingly following behind one chick down the pickle/olive/condiment aisle, I realized a fashion style I love like crazy nowadays - those dressy black pants working chicks wear that look like stretch black yoga pants had sex with thin baggy pants and made an offspring pants. You know what the fuck I'm talking about - they're kinda snug on the ass, but not skintight, and the legs taper out so it's not all wackily yoga pantsish, but it's not bellbottoms or some shit either, very classy. I love the way a properly rounded woman's ass looks in those pants, like two balloons waiting to get clutched and twisted into a giraffe shape, except it won't twist so you just squeeze them and enjoy the slap of your beer belly against the top of their ass, while your swinging open air testicles cook up an extra powerful orgasm. Man, that's some great stuff.
I know this is the internet and some of you are probably not very sexually experienced, but let me assure you that looking at naked chicks is nothing like touching naked chicks. So if you lack sexual experience, lower your standards. Fuck fat chicks or ugly chicks or retarded chicks or fuck... have sex with effeminate dudes. You'd be amazed at how good it feels to have an actual live human being involved in your orgasms.
Anyways, I love those style of pants working women wear, highlighting their round asses of lust induction, and I will tell you women, even though you're probably not reading this and it's just some skeevy dude seeing this instead, I am not afraid to lick your ass, but not because I like that type of stuff, but more because I know you will like it and then I can do other things with you. That's my style - a little give, a little take. Although, it's not you reading this but aforementioned skeevy dudes, so they're all either like, "Ewwww... he'd lick an ass," or they think I have a scat fetish. Fucking fruits.
Ahh... I ended up finding hate after all. The internet is a reverse wonderful place.