FALL CLASSIC: 1st Rd. Group B

OVERVIEW: You probably know this shit already, or if you don't just scroll down or click the handy title bullshit at the bottom of this post and you'll see what's up. But this is a contest. I have been working on building a trophy and shit already. It's gonna be mantle-worthy like a motherfucker. This is the second group of four (out of sixteen entries), and we're up to like 13, so if you hurry the fuck up, you might still be able to get in. When we write our shit, it's me (RM), Mike DIKK (MD), John Dawson (JD), and Keenon Mobb (KM), but again, you probably already know that shit too. I just like to clarify because I don't want anyone accidentally thinking I like the same dumb shit John does. Unless I actually like the same dumb shit.
Oh yeah, on the last round finale tip, the public poll put the PSY/OPsogist with 17 votes, Mike DIKK with 14, Chivato with 5, and Emil with 4. Adding that bullshit to the other bullshit we ranked them, they finished with this total score breakdown...
PSYOPSogist - 16 pts
Mike DIKK - 14 pts
Chivato - 5 pts
Emil the Finnish dude - 1 pt
This means PSY/OPSogist moves into the final round bullshit where dudes (or lady dudes if applicable) make a 45 minute mix to please the internerd world. Big props to Emil and Chivato for sharing and jumping blindly into this thing with no real idea of how it was gonna actually work.

Here's this round of four's entrants...
ENTRANT #1: What It Is's I Ate Shit & All I Got Was This Stupid ID Tag mix - What It Is is the dude who does the Tree Beats blogspot, and he even included a really fresh cover for your iPod machine when you download his jam.
ENTRANT #2: Webconn's True Hip Hop Entertainment mix - These are some cats from up in the Pacifist Northwest doing their thang. Here's their myspace.
ENTRANT #3: Jay Pud's Dumpster Baby mix - Jay is Mike DIKK's homeboy from way way back when they both had red and black lumberjacks, with matching hats. Not to match the lumberjacks, but they wore matching hats. They were a crew. Jay Pud has not website, but he represents Weed, Sex, and Titties.
ENTRANT #4: Dart Adams'z Selected Songs from Mixtapes Better Than Albums List mixtape -
Dart is the man behind the Poisonous Paragraphs blog joint, and this is the mix he did.
And here's how us expert ass whiteboys ranked these four mixes (for winning purposes, what we rank as #1 gets 3 pts, #2 gets 2 pts, and #3 gets 1 pt; and the open public poll scores 6 pts for #1, 4 pts for #2, and 2 pts for #3, so your public consciousness is worth double and has the power to heavily sway but not completely overrule what we think)...

RM: I went with the Treebeats dude's mix, and honestly this could've gone either way with the Dart Adams mix or this one, as both caused me to enjoy things I probably wouldn't have given a fuck to bother with otherwise, but the Treebeats mix was actually one long continuous mix as opposed to a collection of mp3s. I have a new laptop that came pre-equipped with the worst computer virus ever called Vista, so everything fucks up regularly and nothing works like I would expect a technologically advanced machine to work to make my life easier. Instead it makes me cuss and want to smash it, and to be honest, as soon as I save up the ducats to buy a rebuilt super machine off my new-fangled gadgetry uber-genius bro-in-law, I will actually smash this thing with a sledgehammer. I mean, fuck this machine. But dl'ing a mix of songs, I don't know if that shit opened in the right order or not, so I don't even know if I listened to Dart's mix the way it was meant to be listened at. The Treebeats mix was standard hip hop stuff - good enough to take a spot in the 100 sleeve $1.50 CD-carrying case I got at the flea market, but not special enough to get left on the passenger seat for easy access and inevitable ruin.
MD: Like Raven said, this was one continuous mix, and the overall mixes in thie group were... lacking to say the least. The first half or so of this mix was just kind of there, but once that "I Get Money" instrumental with the "Top Billin'" acapella kicks in, it's awesome from that point forward.
JD: The Jay Pud mix - I loved this to death. Mike has said that Jay isn't the biggest hip hop fan in the world, but the dude opened his mixtape with some cover of the theme to Welcome Back Kotter, then went into Jay-Z? "Didn't I Blow Your Mind" into Camp-Lo? That shit is fucking brilliant. Maybe he didn't do it on purpose? But whatever, even if by chance he stuck those songs together, it is amazing.
KM: The Tree Beats mix. So far, this was the first entrant that's beat-blended in the strictest sense of that term. The first 6-7 minutes of this were a little slow, then it went into a Zion 1 song I actually tracked down (which is the sign of a good mixtape, definitely). It hit some more indy-ish stuff that was okay but didn't rock my world, but that faster piano one that kicks in after the RJD2 was fucking nice. The deal with "Top Billin'" reminded me of this shit I was obsessed with working into a set like 2 years ago where I segued from songs that use that BLANK IS CHILLIN, OTHER BLANK IS CHILLIN WHAT MORE CAN I SAY deal and ended up with the Audio Two. But then I got obsessed with reggaeton and dancehall at the same time that week, so it all turned to shit and that set got scrapped. Anyway, the blend on this one is solid. I hope he did it himself, or else my foot's in my mouth again. The last song on this was a good closer, too - someone tell me what it is. I could be wrong, but this had a West Coast Good Life/Project Blowed kinda feel to it. I could totally get blazed and chill with this on and be content for 30 minutes. It's got the proficiency along with a selection of music I haven't heard for the most part. It's also missing the cheap pops that a lot of the entrants seem to be running with for this contest (Premier, Kanye, Nas, Common and that one goddamn Wyclef song) , so that gives it bonus points in my world. I don't use iTunes, so I missed out on the hoohaw controversy entirely.

JD: The What It Is mix. I am going to agree with Madlib Dikk on this because the mix was blah until "Top Billin'", then it got much better. Bonus points for the pic of the peeing vagina. I am sure that will cause an upload or two.
RM: I put Jay Pud's mix at #2, and honestly, it might've even took the #1 spot if it wasn't for that goddamned "Lollipop" song. I don't know if it's on some latchkey Stand By Me retro bullshit tip, but I used to work with this half-retard black bitch with a jheri curl in 1997 type retard bitch, and all night long (we worked second shift), she would either sing "Lollipop" or that fucking "Sugar Pie Honey" song, constantly, both stupid sugar songs and her a stupid bitch and seriously, if I ever get rich, one thing I'm gonna do to abuse my riches and go find that bitch and stab her.
MD: I'm giving my boy Jay the number two spot here. I could have flipped a coin between his and Dart's mix, as Jay's is a bunch of mp3s of songs I've heard before versus Dart's bunch of mp3s of songs I've never heard before. I went with Jay's because I am stubborn and old and don't need to be hearing any new shit. There's nothing special here, but at the same time, there's nothing totally appalling.
KM: Jay Pud Fucking Badass. I can't hate on the entrants for submitting un-blended mixes (HI, SWANN!) because when I make mixtapes for people I know, I rarely blend them, I just don't have the time. A lot of the mixes have some unifying theme that doesn't involve the tempo anyway. I suppose that makes me a lesser mixtape artist, but most of the people I know like my shit. Anyway, to get back to Mr. Pud, I had to choose between this and the Dart mix. Since they're both a collection of songs, I had to weigh the strength of how I like the songs. It's not possible to determine intent if it's not declared, so I have to assume that Jay just got 9 songs he really fucking likes and zipped them hoes up for this. On that basis alone, I give the nod to Jay - not only is there Kotter, one of the nicest songs off Blueprint, the fucking Dramatics and Camp Lo (which may have been thrown in for Mike) and then a couple hiphop joints I could dig (WHY IS EVERYONE PUTTING IN WYCLEF, THOUGH?!?!) - Jay throws out his trump card with the Paperboy song. "Ditty" is one of the best jams ever. I wasn't gassed up for the stuff before it, but that one did it for me. I don't know any special "Lollipop" fans so that one didn't taint my lil' outburst.

MD: Dart took a bunch of songs from mixtapes and made his own mixtape out of them. It's a very postmodern idea. I wasn't a fan of most of this stuff on here, but I must say, that was my favorite Lupe Fiasco song I've ever heard because he doesn't seem to be talking about anime or robots or any other subject matter that would appeal to your average Hot Topic shopper. Also, the Scram Jones song is really good, but I think it more than shows that he's going to be one of those dudes that's known for his freestyles without ever being able to pull off a really great full length album. Oh, and lastly, this mix reminded me that I need to find that Kano mixtape on the internets one of these days.
RM: Yeah, I put Dart in the third spot too, and I felt bad because Poisonous Paragraphs is one of my favorite blogs. Actually, I'm lying. Dart's blog (as well as the recently discovered Invincible Bully blog) is one of those few blogs I mean to check every couple of days, but honestly, nobody really writes interesting shit on rap nerd blogs half the time, so I unfortunately build up that stereotype and then forget to check things like Dart's blog for like a month. Fuck it though. I guess the world doesn't want long-winded nonsense written meanderings so much as the latest mp3 to add to their ever-burgeoning collection of shit they'll never do anything more than put on an external hard drive.
JD: True Hip Hop Entertainment. Okay, if you haven't heard this shit, get on it. It is 100% serious so far as we can figure out, and the last freestyle made my sides hurt from laughing. I want to adopt all of these kids and finish my basement, so they can sit down there and crank out mixtape after mixtape. I give them credit for making a real mixtape. These dudes are trying to get on, and where else would you go to spread your word? Dumpin.fag, that's where. Oh, and fellas, next Seattle Mariners diss track, please namedrop Dave Valle.
KM: Dart Adams, M.D. The idea itself is interesting, but the songs didn't prop it up proper. The MOP and Consequence joints were nice, I could deal with the rest of them - it just left me a little cold. I'm one of those people that still thinks "Pump It Up" isn't that bad - my own blog people all think I'm odd for that one - the diss track isn't as good. At its core, I wind up comparing Jay and Dart - they both have competent Kanye choices, they both have varied rap picks, and a couple songs I could live without. I had to go with the one that made a mulatto say "daaaaaamn" and so this one lost out on that head to head.

JD: Dart Adams mix. I love your blog, and feel bad sticking you last, but it was a mixtape of mixtape songs? It really bored me and was the hip hop muzak we always bitch about. This was a good block, and your mix may have went farther if we have a bracket with Diora, Forest Gump, a dead Ronald Reagan, and a piece of coal.
RM: I put the True Hip Hop Entertainment guys in last, though props to Web Conn for taking the leap and throwing his shit out there for complete strangers to shit all over. It kinda bummed me out though, because I have always hated that Whiteboyz movie because, to me, it's Danny Hoch - a New York Jew with hip hop love - stereotyping rural white fucks in the midwest and how bad they are to stereotype black people and rap music. But then I hear this T.H.E. stuff and I realize there are actually dudes like that, and that ruins all the comedic mockerying of Danny Hoch could do. It fucking sucks. I did some google research, and Federal Way is a suburb of Seattle, so these guys are apparently leaving bodies to rot in the sun on the outskirts of the Pacific Northwest's Emerald City.
At the same time, I hope these guys don't jump on a Greyhound and come to Albany, where both me and Mike DIKK live, and Shaq stomp the shit out of us. Because if they act this hard on a mixtape, they probably try to be at least a fourth that hard in real life from time to time.
MD: I don't even feel like talking about this. I'm not sure if these kids are joking around or if they're super serious about their rap careers. This is like Icy Hot Stuntaz bad, which would lead me to believe it's a joke; but at the same time, there's nothing that gives it away as a joke, and the kid who sent it to us and claimed it as his own, and the corresponding Myspace page aren't selling it as a joke, so who knows?
Anyway, you have a few kids fucking around with a computer mic rapping about wearing Shaq sneakers really badly. This is good for a few laughs, and I suggest everyone download this, but I'm going to wait until we are like three or four mixtape challenges in before I vote something like this number one and make the whole thing a total joke.
KM: The I can't zipfile mix. This reminded me of this one Jewish kid from New Jersey I e-knew on an old Delphi board who swore he had an IM rap battle with Kool Keith. At one point, he decided to come out with some shit called Count Dollars & DJ Chunky Irving, which was him making iffy beats and rapping with a voice filter about nigger dick and prison rape and cornbread. Dude thought he was breaking boundaries, always sent me tracks, and I never could figure out how serious he was about that shit. These Webconn kids sound like some 14 year olds playing with a karaoke machine. I wonder how much Crunchy Black charged them for a shout out or whatever. If there's a music video for anything these dudes have done, hit me up with a Youtube link - I imagine it's something worthy of that place in the mall where you can get a video for 15 bucks. These kids talk way too much about their dicks and fucking imaginary women that are probably fat guys typing on the internet from their mom's basement in Poughkeepsie. MUHFUKKKIN SHAQS! In other news, there's some real hard thugz living in Federal Way, WA if my experience at relay is any indicator. They even have deaf gangsters, yes that's plural on purpose. Raven's just acting though, he's got homemade Vietcong booby traps out on his property - you crazy Pacific Northwest Hoods better watch the fuck out or lose a foot.

After our full-of-shit rankings, What It Is sits on top at 11 points, Jay Pud has 9, Dart Adams sinks in at 3, and True Hip Hop Entertainment has only 1 point. Basically, What It Is is in control, but points values are doubled with the public poll (6/4/2/0) so Jay Pud still has a chance to win and everybody else can be a spoiler. I think we're gonna do some wild card shit too where we do an extra poll for all the second place finishers to have a 5th wheel in the final round. Mike will set the poll up when he gets home from drinking. I think he's celebrating his birthday with unemployed binge partying for like the next three weeks. And I am far too hungover to try and figure out a motherfuckin' sparklit.