Music Video Commentary - "I Am Murloc"

Okay so, this post of mine is going to be a win/win situation. It's
KINDA about music...and its about WoW, so I'm happy and I'm sure
Mike's very amused. Also despite the fact that I AM a lazy bitch I went ahead
and included a link to the video and pictures for ya'll that would feel too
geeky to actually watch it.

Anyway, a week ago or so, my friends from WoW started asking me
whether or not I had seen the "I am Murloc" video. I hadn't, and so I
was directed to the Warcraft movies site to check it out. I had no
idea of what it was or what to expect. I kept meaning to watch it,
and then it got to the point where EVERYONE had except me, and then I
was determined to check it out.



Here's my .02 on it. First off I've always felt the dudes at Blizzard
had one hell of a crazy mixed up sense (senses?) of humor. I know
they're also a relatively young group of guys, the programmers at
least. And when I say relatively young, I mean that for the most part
they grew up in the late 70s and 80s. That being said, I wasn't
surprised to discover that the song was in the genre of heavy metal.

The name of the group is: Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain, and their
band setup is pretty similar to the "traditional" metal band. They're
all members of the Horde and they've got this lineup:


Orc lead singer - Why they chose an Orc as their lead singer is beyond
me. I was unaware that Orcs were very metal-oriented, especially
considering that the female orc dance is basically droppin' it like
its hot and making it clap. Not to mention that the male Orc dance is
the Hammer dance. But hey, black people can do metal, after all,
Ice-T did it, right?? Interestingly enough I think (in my uneducated
about metal way) that he sounded most like Lemmy from Motorhead out of
all the major metal bands out there.





Blood elf lead guitarist - I assumed, perhaps incorrectly, that the
pretty boy blood elf was on lead guitar, only for the sake of the fact that there
is no way in hell a blood elf, if not the lead singer or frontman for
the band, would be a RHYTHM guitarist. God forbid. They love
themselves too much to make a sacrifice for someone else.







Troll bass guitarist - Another interesting choice. Most people that play trolls
that I know are actually into rock and roll despite the race's penchant for being
more along the lines of having a reggae/Jamaican style. I'd be less surprised
to see a troll smokin' that ganja and listening to "Welcome to
Jamrock" or at the very least Juelz's "Murda Murda" or some shit. But
bass guitarists are an awesome breed of guitarists because they can
adapt to most any type of music.







Undead rhythm guitarist - Considering the genre of music, why wasn't
the undead made the lead singer? I mean, HONESTLY? Hit /dance on any
male undead toon, and what do they do...they fucking ROCK OUT with
their undead cocks out!! Not to mention they throw the horns and
everything? Personally, on behalf of all undead everywhere, I'm
highly offended. Highly. I hope some programmers at Blizzard read
this shit and think things out next time.



Tauren on drums - Okay, after being outraged that it was an Orc lead
singer and not an undead...I wondered, why wasn't a Tauren the front
man for a band called Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain I ask you??
However him being on drums made sense...if only 'cause the Tauren seem
to be patterned after the Native Americans.





Backup dancers aka Video Hofessionals: I got one word for each of them.


Nelf chick - Whore


Belf chick - Slut


Dranei chick - Tramp


'Nuff said.

Now here's where I can appreciate the Blizzard humor. I had to see
the video 3 times before I realized that (I think) the lead singer was
doing some pelvic thrusts that were so hardcore that his pelvis
straight busted through the GLASS. Fucking hilarious.

More Blizzard humor I can get with, the chorus of the song:


I am more than a fish
I am more than a man
Death will rise from the tide
RWLRWLRWLRWL (murloc noises)
I am murloc
I am king of the sea
Not A Queen like Aquaman
Death will rise
Hear our cry
I am murloc
I am death!

Okay I SERIOUSLY laughed SO HARD when I saw them dress up a human
pally like a gay version (lol...when isn't he gay, scratch that)
version of Aquaman.


Fuck Aquaman. When there's a serious world
crisis, what is he gonna do, make dolphin noises? Call the whales?
Bitch please.

Anyway, the video was cool, the song was meh, and for god's sake THE
MURLOC NOISES?! I'll never admit to weakness but fuck all if those
murloc noises don't make me cringe a little on the inside. I remember
when I was a wee little shadow priest trying to stay alive on the
North Coast of Tirisfal Glades...those murloc noises struck fear into
my poor little squishy heart. The noises were usually followed by a
severe beating. I got beat the fuck up AND down by those murlocs...and
gangbanged with no lube more than a few times. And it wasn't pretty.
Neither was my repair bill. Don't tell anyone that the murloc noises
scare me though, or I'll have to melt j00 face. /flex