The MR. SR. Battle - the Introduction

So ever since I joined up on Mike's stupid blog rather than bugging him to post more on our stupid joint blog elsewhere, I figured I should come up with some ultra-nerdy project that hopefully will lead to introduction to new shit, people arguing about stereotypical opinions on the internet with each other, and hopefully some good laughs at other people's expense. So I came up with the following bullshit long-term project (by fleeting A.D.D. internet people standards) - the Myspace Rapper State Representation Battle (from here on referred to as the Mr. Sr. Battle). I'm sure you have noticed like everybody else how in any issue of any rap magazine or zine or promotional flyer or bathroom graffiti there's a slew of up-and-coming artist myspace pages. You can't spit in a crowd of people without hitting a myspace rapper. Shit, even I'm a myspace rapper. Well, one of the great things about myspace - actually probably pretty low on the list and far below like fucking women you don't know at all who live fifteen minutes away - is the fact you put your home on there for everybody to see. Well, taking into mind college football rivalries and bullshit like that, plus people having to be proud of where they're from, I decided to create a multi-round myspace rapper battle where each state (as well as D.C. and Puerto Rico, to make it an even 52) do battle amongst each other, and we - the unproductive sacks of shit that make up the internet - will decide the winner. Here's how I'm breaking it down, round by round.
PRELIMINARY ROUND: I broke up the 52 geographic entities into groups of four, clustered by their location, which means we're gonna have some pretty shitty groups of four when we get to that vast wasteland of earth past the Mississippi River to the west coast. It also means that some hip hop heavyweight states will be matched up early, like Jersey and New York, or Georgia and Florida, but whatever. In these preliminary rounds (13 total), you can vote for however many of the entrants you want. Each state will be represented by a single rap artist's myspace page from that state. I will try to look for popular ones or pick the semi-famous as much as possible to be fair, but obviously I've got my limitations. (Towards the end of this explanation will be an email address you can send me suggestions for inclusion if you know Tha Dopest Undiscovered Shit on the internetz.) The top two of each group of four will move on to the next step.
PLAY-IN ROUND: This is where the top two from each group go head-to-head, with a new single rap artist's myspace page representing it. In other words, no one artist can carry his state all the way through, because I'm gonna change it up each time. But it'll be one-on-one, with the winner taking a spot in the next step. Since there's only 13 groups, and since some states are gonna get screwed early on unfairly by groupings, 3 wild cards who get plenty of love will also move into the next round even though they lost in this one.
FIRST ROUND: 16 states left by this point, which will probably be sometime in 2010 knowing me, and they'll go head-to-head, one-on-one. I'll probably seed them at this point, but I may not. These head-to-head match-ups will be best of 3 series of polls though, with three completely new stupid Myspace rapper pages showing and proving against each other. So essentially you're voting for the best page vs. the other page, with the idea being that each state's hip hop scene is only as strong as its weakest link. Winners of best 2 out of 3 in this move on.
QUARTERFINALS: Same deal, one-on-one between previous round's winners, and best of three series again. Winners move on.
SEMI-FINALS: We'll have worked down to four states left by this point, and it'll stay head-to-head, one-on-one, series of pages against pages, but this round will be best of five series instead. First one in each match-up to win three polls moves into the finale.
THE MISTER SENIOR BATTLE FINALS: Last two states left will go against each other, best of seven series, with seven completely new and not yet used myspace rapper pages reppin' each state going against each other. First one to win four will be the winning state, and ultimately, the True Home of Hip Hop.

I'll be putting the first one up later tonight, hopefully, since I have internet welfare which means myspace clogs up the hamsters turning my computer pixels into shapes and colors, so it takes a while. In fact, I'm gonna have to go to the library every week on the one night they're open till nine to actually listen to this shit myself and vote accordingly. If you know of any myspace rapper pages I should check for inclusion, even really famous people's ones (because don't assume I will know anything at all, and don't trust me to make things right), send them to me at raven mack at gmail dot com. You should by now how to make that work right. Make sure the myspace is one that has songs for listening at so if we use that shit, folks got something to listen to to base a decision upon, instead of thinking dudes look stupid. The winning state will get a trophy, meaning I'll buy an obnoxious trophy with ribbons and eagles and shit and ride the Greyhound to their state capital and leave it in a park with some funny looking homeless people, taking Polaroid pictures of the event to prove to the internet I really did it, and probably drinking with the homeless.
So there's the giant stupid deal. Your involvement will only make this better.