The Higher - Histrionics

[Fiddler Records]

I'd imagine the average band member age in The Higher is hovering around 20, which is good, because they have written a pretty flawless young poontang record. Unfortunately, I am not young and I don't have a vagina, but i assure you if I did, it would be kind of moist right now.

The Higher pull out all the tried and true emo/pop/punk tricks without a hitch. Whiny tantrum vocals, clap parts, well placed robotic vocal effects, sappy lyrics, etc. The production is perfect to the point where I can't even imagine the producer is a human. I'm sure there is a machine somewhere that can polish any band and make them sound this shiny and bright.

I honestly wish I could relate so all these compliments weren't backhanded, but I totally can't. Partridge Family records are more relevant to me, and those came out before I was born. If these youngsters can pump out a record like this every other fiscal quarter, they can easily be revered as the undisputed kings of shitty music no one should listen to. Hats off to you, The Higher. I am sure there is nary a day where you don't wake up with a young woman's pubic hair stuck in your teeth.